Long Time No See

I’m back!

Sorry for the lack of posts, I needed to take a break from…lots of things. Life is extremely hectic right now. I have wanted to post for a while, but it’s so difficult making details anonymous.

However, I am here to tell you what’s going on. This matchmaking business is rough. People just aren’t as appreciative as they used to be. I have already had a few people ask for a new match, and some had the audacity to ask for the other person’s name before giving theirs out. That is not how it works son. Also, someone asked me to match them, but only to see if I would match them with one certain person. Well tell me who it is hotshot, maybe I can help you then. And I am sad to say that I am not able to help everyone who wants a match. There’s not enough guys, some people are too old, too short, etc. Also,people don’t understand how much work this is. Poor Harriet. I’m pretty lazy, so she does most of the dirty work. And by that I mean logistics.

So readers. I have a date. Is he my Knightley? Is God finally smiling upon my face? I’ll keep you updated…vaguely.

In other news, we have been featured on two website recently,which is so exciting! Did I dream that this blog would someday win awards and make me famous/rich/uber cool? Maybe.

Forever Young Adult featured us in one of their Procrastination Pro-Tips articles (under the “Miscellaneous Things” category). Thanks FYA! And thanks to all of our international viewers! You can see the article here:

http://foreveryoungadult.com/2013/11/01/procrastination-pro-tips-happy-november

Emmanonymous has also been featured in The Daily Runner, Regent University’s student-run news media. Thanks to our friend Alyssa for the article!

http://dailyrunneronline.com/anonymous-matchmaker-pairs-couples-for-winter-ball/#sthash.zKE6bg1K.YZlJuUcl.dpbs

I have so many juicy details I wish I could share with you!

Stick around and maybe you’ll figure out who I am.

_ E. W.

“What is right to be done cannot be done too soon.”

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Overwhelmed

So. I met with Churchill. He was not Knightley. Is there a Knightley on the horizon?

I wish I could tell you everything readers. But alas, to remain anonymous, I cannot. However, I can now sympathize with anyone who has ever been on a blind date. Awkward.

So we met. And avoided eye contact. He did in fact turn out to be Frank Churchill. And not in a good way. Oh well, one day my prince will come, right? 

This is all I can share with you right now. So much has happened in these past couple of days and I hate that I can’t tell you most of it. I promise to tell you what I can as soon as I can.

– E. W.

“You will be an old maid! and that’s so dreadful!”

 

Brave

Harriet keeps calling me brave. Creating a matchmaking service with her, writing a blog, making myself a match, and MEETING SAID MATCH VERY SOON.

But I’m not brave. I’m beyond scared. I have to tell you something reader. Can you keep a secret? Promise you won’t laugh. Seriously, promise. Okay. I’ve never been in a serious relationship. GASP. I know. A matchmaker without relationship experience. Well frankly the original Emma didn’t either, so I’m sure I’ll get by.

So anyways, the thought of going on a semi-real undefined possibly blind date type meeting makes me feel out of my element. What if I hate him? Or worse, what if he’s boring? What if, for some crazy unthinkable reason, he hates me? At least there’s no way he’ll think I’m boring. Maybe crazy though.

But I’m going to go through with this.

Go do something that scares you.

– E. W.

“…I made the match myself”

No Time Like the Present

Sometimes people just need a little push. 

The guys from the current matches definitely did. Because I know some of the girls involved in the matches, and I myself am in a match, I knew that the matches were at a standstill. No one was contacting anyone. So I did what I had to. You can call it meddling, but I call it a helpful shove. I sent the gentlemen an email to kick their butts into action. I have had lots of proof today that the email worked. 

So if you think someone needs it, give them a helpful shove. It might be just what they need. 

I’ll be meeting my match soon. Wish me luck?

– E. W.

“A large debt of gratitude was owing here…”

Speak Now

Who knew setting up a large group of people with dates would be hard? Not me. 

I really thought it was going to be easy and fun, and people would give me awards for my fabulous matches. I dreamt of people naming their firstborn children after me…well, after Emma. Which is me. Kind of.

I have now taken off my rose colored glasses. Except for in every other aspect of life, because, let’s face it, naiveté is in my blood. Anyways, matchmaking is hard work. I’m pretty sure I’ve made mistakes. Huge mistakes. What’s scary is that these mistakes don’t affect me, they affect other people. Nice people with real feelings. I sincerely hope that someone gets a happy ending out of this. Frankly, I’ll give someone mine. Take it. I’ll just sit here watching Lifetime movies and eating chocolate. I am a strong, independent woman. At least today anyways. 

So, please, please, someone like your match. I’m pretty sure I messed mine up, and it’s too late to fix it. But I want this to impact someone positively! I want someone one day to tell their grandchildren that Emma’s Matchmaking Service matched them with their spouse of 50 years! It could happen. But please, for the love of all that is holy, do not let this end like a depressing Taylor Swift song. I cannot have that on my conscious. 

Here’s to binge netflixing.

– E. W.

“The most beautiful thing in the world is a match well made.”

 

 

Frank Churchill

Oh goodness.

The title of this post should tell you a lot. I think I have found my own Frank Churchill. Of course, I haven’t found Mr. Knightley, but I guess this is better than nothing.

Last we went to the costume party. We awkwardly swayed, did the wobble, and I drank caffeinated beverages. I’m a risk-taker. So as we leave, we meet whom I will refer to as Frank Churchill. He was cute. And he had a weird costume, but if I told you what it was, anyone who was at the party would definitely know who he is. Anyways my friends, him, and I talked for a while. I thought I had been witty and cute, and he was – at least a little – into me.  After some some Facebook stalking(don’t give me that look, you know you do it too) later that night, I found out that he was the cool hipster type, and definitely had Knightley potential.

So I decided it would be great to match myself with him. I really hope he doesn’t read this blog…that would be awkward. Anyways, I made some matches last night and sent out messages to the people involved, giving them the age of their match and confirming that they wanted a date for the ball. Of course, all of the girls replied saying yes, they were okay with the age and wanted a date to the ball. One guy replied saying he didn’t want a date for the ball. WHY? People these days. And he had to be Harriet’s match. They would have been so cute together. I’m waiting on the remaining guys to suck it up and reply.

Oh, I forgot to tell you the best part. The reason why Frank must be called Frank. BECAUSE HE WAS IN COMMUNICATION WITH MY FRIEND. Yes, one of the friends(who obviously must be called Jane now) who I matched WITH SOMEONE ELSE. Why? Why must life be so complicated? I have tried to comfort myself. “It was dark, he thought I was her, he forgot both of our names,” and the ever popular “him liking her picture on facebook means nothing.” Oy vey.

But I made the matches by using the survey, not just by choice(although, I can’t lie, choice was involved a little bit in each match), so the matches are pretty accurate. And changing even one match would make me change at least three others, which is not fair to anyone. So let’s hope neither of them had their heart set on that match because it obviously wouldn’t work. THE SURVEY SAYS SO. And one can’t argue with a survey, right? The fact that I’m starting to sound so much like Emma both frightens and excites me.

But maybe he’s not that much like Frank? Maybe he was just being friendly? Maybe…I don’t know the whole story?

One can only hope.

– E. W.

“It is very unfair to judge of any body’s conduct, without an intimate knowledge of their situation.”

Boo

How was your Halloween? Mine was…interesting.

I had ice cream and pizza rolls for breakfast. I have no explanation other than that I knew without sugar and carbohydrates I would not make it through the day.

My classes were unbearable. My laptop died during my second class so I resorted to Pinterest/texting to keep me awake, which lead to my professor being…not happy with me. In my last class we had the task of a group project, of which I was one of the weaker links. Surprising, I know. So I sat in a suffocatingly hot classroom and tried to Google answers while simultaneously scanning Facebook.  This led me to see that other professors gave out candy to their classes. This knowledge fueled the flame of my anger which I funneled toward my professor in quiet mumbles. 

However, my day then made a complete turnaround, with the help of Harriet and…Miss Bates? I’m running out of names here. 

First, Harriet and I tried to order pizza. Oh boy. I told Harriet I would order and pay online because I am an independent woman who can order pizza online without any problems. So I put in my card information and ordered. I headed over to Harriet’s room and waited until the pizza guy called and asked where on the campus I was, even though I clearly stated my location on the order form. Harriet and I then went to the lobby to meet the pizza guy, who proceeded to tell me it was a cash order. This involved me going to my room to get my card, Harriet going to her room to get her laptop, and the pizza calling his supervisor. Eventually we gave up and Harriet paid with cash. I will never order pizza online again.

I then cajoled Harriet into eating copious amounts of candy while watching a marathon of scary television shows, of which we watched two episodes. That’s when Miss Bates(Harriet’s roommate) returned. We tried to watch classic Disney Halloween movies, but alas, they weren’t available on the internet. We eventually grew bored of searching and discovered that, if wearing a costume, one can attain free food. We could not pass up such a tantalizing opportunity. 

When we returned, the idea of watching an extremely gory scary movie sounded great. We stayed up late yelling and freaking out. Oh, and eating. 

When I returned to my room, my roommate was asleep, forcing me to get ready for bed in the dark. Which is terrifying if you strongly believe that a killer could be in the room with you. 

So all in all, a pretty great Halloween. Hope you had fun.

The matches start tomorrow. Are you scared?

– E. W.

“I would much rather have been merry than wise.”

TGIF

I don’t know about you, but I’m so thankful that it’s Friday.

Are your classes as stressful as mine? I thought so. It’s okay to cry. Let it out.

So this weekend, give yourself a break. Put your pajamas on. Buy yourself a discounted 50 piece bag of Halloween candy and watch a movie. I would suggest Mansfield Park or Northanger Abbey. Emma is also a good choice, if you like that sort of story. I  don’t find that I can relate to it, too much meddling.

Who’s ready for the Costume Party? Will I be there? Of course. But will you recognize me? Not a chance.

Anyways, the best reason that it is the weekend is that Harriet and I will begin making matches! Get ready people, here comes love! This also means that if you want a match, email us ASAP so that we can find the best match for you.

Let the matching commence.

– E. W.

“…they say every body is in love once in their lives…”

A Whole New World

Wow. I have made more friends on Facebook today than I have in real life in a year.

Impersonating an enchanting literary heroine has its perks.

I am overwhelmed(and, well, flattered) by the responses I have received. Harriet and I are reveling in our new-found secret popularity. In our minds, we’re the coolest kids on campus.

It is literally a whole new world. As I told you in my first post, I am not a good confidante, frequently spilling secrets from friends. However, I am slowly learning the art of secret keeping…known to some as lying. But in order to keep an air of mystery, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

So who’s dressing up for Halloween? If you can guess my costume, I’ll reveal my identity to you. But I find that very unlikely.

Hit me with your best shot.

– E. W.

“…she walked on, amusing herself in the consideration of the blunders which often arise from a partial knowledge of circumstances…”

 

Let’s be friends

Hello faithful readers…or curious passers-by.

Today Harriet and I made Facebook and Pinterest accounts for me. Here are the links, let’s be friends:

https://www.facebook.com/emma.woodhouse.9235199

http://www.pinterest.com/emmawoodhouse92/boards/

More later.

– E. W.

“I always say, we are quite blessed in our neighbors.”